is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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