I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
