Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
