Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
