Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
