I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
