ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
