Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
