PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
