Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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