I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
