I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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