matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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