i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
