put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
