Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
