it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
