Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
