also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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