found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
