you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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