Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
