You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
