You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
