She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
