So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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