is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
