Your dad touched me again.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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