hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
