Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I supernannyed him into submission
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
