areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
