I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
