ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
