So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
either way he was missing a nipple.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
