nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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