i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
