i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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