Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Midnight walks are trippy

(1-817): View more from Texas

I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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(904): View more from Florida

Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you said candy land and then passed out.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?

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