People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
