Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
