the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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