she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry about my life...
I love you. Go after that dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
