I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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