You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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