He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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