i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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