he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
