So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
