Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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