question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
